Contact Decisions
Before You Text Them: Three Questions
Before you text them, ask yourself three things.
KNOWN
- What happened immediately before the urge to text
- What you actually want the message to accomplish
- What happened the last few times you reopened contact
UNKNOWN
- How they will respond
- What their response would really mean
- Whether contact will create the feeling you are hoping for
PATTERN
Contact decisions get clearer when you separate the urge for immediate relief from the evidence of what contact has repeatedly produced.
BOUNDARY
Do not use a message to force certainty that the other person cannot reliably provide.
NEXT ACTION
Before sending anything, answer: What changed? What outcome am I trying to create? What evidence says this contact is likely to help rather than restart the same cycle?
Use the Pattern Breaker Decision Kit →
Source: TikTok · Separation Control record SC-HG-04-TT